美國經濟衰退

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own. -Harry S Truman

(The Great Depression was a worldwide economic downturn starting in most places in 1929 and ending at different times in the 1930s or early 1940s)


杜魯門說: "你的鄰居失去工作那是經濟衰退，但當你失去你自己的工作這就是抑鬱症了。"
1929美國經濟大衰退， 一直到1940才真正恢復。
今年美國真正的不景氣! 現在很多人被裁員失業。
過完感恩節商店大減價，商場人很多但是買氣不旺。
股票市場更是慘跌不已，偶爾總統報導好消息會拉上一下指數。
但是撐不下去又往下跌! 全世界也跟進栽死了!
好多人的退休金橫掃去半。嗚呼哀哉的不敢馬上退休。


運鈔車遇劫 警衛1死1傷
【美聯社】邁阿密郊區的戴德蘭德商場1日中午約11時發生致命搶劫槍擊事件，一名武裝運鈔車警衛取走商場一家服裝店的銷售款後，遭兩名槍手攻擊和搶劫，該警衛受傷後死於醫院，另外一人受傷，警方正在追捕作案的兩名槍手。
2008-12-02

宵小也忽然增多。 報紙開始報導有人家裡被進屋偷竊。
連我們小鎮居然也開始有銀行被搶的頭版新聞。
（至今不知是何方人物幹下這種搶劫案件?)


鄰居看我老是外出，好心教我幾招防盜方法。
1.不在家就把收音機打開大音量， 放到廚房，讓他一直播放音樂。
2.晚上定時打開燈， 不同房間，不同時間開燈。
3.用警報器， 有人接近房子就開始發警報。
4.請朋友把器車停到家門口或車庫前面。

居家安全系統 自己也可安裝

InGrid公司居家安全系統InGrid Home Security出廠時整套包裝如鞋盒盤小巧，自己在家裡各角落動手安裝並不難。圖中自左上角順時鐘看，各是門窗感應器、主機、可通話又可遙控警報器的電話機、可控制警報器開關的鑰匙圈遙控器。（單價199元）



Laser Shield公司基本居家安全系統套裝Starter kit標榜10分鐘內安裝完畢。 LaserShield® Starter Kit MSRP:$199.99 （單價200元）


【周芳苑取材自紐約時報】景氣不好、宵小猖狂，居家安全顯得更加重要。傳統上，想在家裡裝設房屋安全系統，多半會利用搬新家前、房子淨空時請專業公司安裝，如今，軟硬體科技愈來愈進步，多家廠商推出居家安全系統套裝產品，可以自己動手安裝，三兩下就搞定。
居家安全系統通常有兩大部分，其中之一是硬體設備，例如門窗感應器、肢體移動偵測器等等，另一部分則是監控機制。依照傳統作法，硬體設備通常由專業公司派員安裝，監控機制也由同一公司負責，專業公司將透過整套系統，監控安全系統所發出的緊急訊號，再視情況通知警方到現場支援。

近來日漸普及的簡易安裝型居家安全系統套裝產品也是包括硬體設備與監控機制兩大部分，但是，不論是硬體安裝、或者平常的監控工作，都變成自己來，套裝產品供應商只提供支援性協助，除了硬體費用，還得定期繳納服務費，加總之後的整體成本比全部委託專人處理便宜多了。

先進的簡易安裝型系統結合電池、無線傳輸以及無線通訊技術。代表性產品分述如下：

●InGrid公司的居家安全系統InGrid Home Security（單價199元）

整組套件包括一個警報器、一個兼具警報器控制與通話功能的無線電話機、三個門窗感應器，出廠時，這些物件裝在一個比鞋盒還小的盒子裡，非常輕巧。

門窗感應器可透過黏性膠帶貼附，只要裝備一顆像手錶電池般的小電池，就可透過無線傳輸模式與專用無線電話機互動。以一棟二層樓的房子為例，大約一小時就能完成硬體安裝，而且不需要藉助特殊工具。

硬體裝備妥當後，可隨時透過網際網路監控系統運作狀況，也能夠選購專用攝影機，進一步掌握居家各角落動態。不過，啟動門窗感應器與中央控制台得花一些功夫，需要略具科技專業常識。

硬體安裝與平日監控都由自己動手，但所動用的無線通訊資源由InGrid公司提供，因此，還是得每月繳納20元服務費，簽一年期合約可享折扣。選購影像攝影機的單價為130元，針對久久才使用一次的度假屋或者比較不常利用的地下室，可再各花60元選購水中或溫度監測器，此外，煙霧感應器與一氧化碳感測器單價各100元、50元，也是選購項目。

可到供應商網站www.ingridhome.com選購。

●Laser Shield公司基本居家安全套件（單價200元）

包括一個肢體移動監測器以及一個鑰匙圈遙控器，必須搭配標準電話機以及執行偵測任務、傳送警訊。與InGrid公司產品一樣，消費者除了花錢買硬體設備，也得按月支付20元服務費。

這套系統安裝更容易，10分鐘便可搞定。使用起來也方便，將肢體移動監測器擺在比較有安全顧慮的地方，並將主機放到網路或電話線附近，一旦監測器發現有異狀，將自動撥電話到指定的號碼（通常是自家電話），萬一沒有回應，則通知警方，並且會警鈴大作。

除了基本套件，Laser Shield又推出升級版產品LaserShield Pro，單價將近300元，包括一個肢體移動偵測器、一個控制板、二個門窗感應器。

如果以上配備還不夠，可另外花230元選購獨立式行動通訊傳話器LaserShield Cyclone，就算指定號碼的電話線被切斷，整套系統還是會將警訊傳送到Laser Shield公司監測站，堪稱頂級安全防護網；除了花錢買傳話器，還得額外支付30元月費，而且，除非家裡已經有網路電話，否則必須再花130元購買專用電話機Sparrow、並加付10元月費，透過網際網路傳遞求救訊號。

可到供應商網站www.lasershield.net選購。

●電訊業者AT&T推出居家安全服務AT&T Remote Monitoring（硬體299元、服務費每月25元）

如前所述，套裝式居家安全系統採用無線通訊技術，無線通訊業者便自然而然積極跨足這個新興市場。AT&T是代表廠商之一。

AT&T的居家安全服務系統一開始鎖定商業用戶，一旦偵測到警訊，並不通話警方，而透過文字簡訊及電子郵件傳送給屋主。整個套件包括一個門戶感應器、一個系統控制器、一個遙控攝影機以及一個影像傳送系統。

硬體配件安裝時間大約30分鐘。

不少AT&T的工作人員藉助這套安全系統監控家中寵物、褓母照顧小孩的狀況，甚至可以隨時遙控家裡的冷氣及暖氣設備。

專業服務仍有賣點

雖然簡易安裝型居家安全系統愈來愈普及，仍有人主張委託專人協助打點居家安全系統。布林克居家安全服務公司（Brink's Home Security）便提供專業服務，該公司發言人賽門認為，買了套裝式居家安全系統後，如果就近找專家幫忙，往往可以將門窗感應器黏貼到最適當的地方，也能夠精確研判還需要加裝哪些配備。

賽門說，如果消費者買的是基本型套裝產品，找專家協助安裝大約要價200元，處理比較複雜的產品則需要多花好幾百塊錢。

絕大多數居家安全專業公司專賣硬體、或者只提供系統服務，如果專賣硬體產品，往往會將系統服務工作委外，少部分廠商兼具硬體與系統服務能力，既有自己一套產品，也有團隊提供專業服務，布林克公司是其中一家代表廠商。





2008-11-28

I Believe

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.

A Death Certificate shows that we died.

Pictures show that we lived!

What we believe shows how we live.

Relax . . . And read this slowly.


I Believe...That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest time and distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe....
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person God intends me to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave those you love with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, regardless how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the discomfort or inconvenience.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That when I'm justifiably angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and little to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others; sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That when your heart is broken, true friends share your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we alone are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It may change your life -Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of moments by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...No one can ever love us like God, and once we understand that we will know how to love each other

family papers

請放置於銀行保管箱：

信用卡號碼，姓名和地址的清單
社會保障卡
通過論文
出生證明書
死亡後埋藏地的所有權狀
教會記錄
公民身份證
離婚或分居的法令文件
軍事記錄
遺囑
保險包含項目
摘要房地產
房地產契約和貸款抵押權
家庭和個人的財產
保險政策契約
公司債券和證券
政府債券和證券
資產清單
儲蓄帳戶清單
房地產投資紀錄
人壽險實際的保單
車輛擁有權
*************************
投入永久檔案
*************************
信用卡號碼，姓名和地址，電話＃清單
貸款協議合同
員工手冊
員工合同
就業記錄
附帶福利
名單教育學位，文憑等
養老金和退休記錄
記錄的刊物
金融銀行會計帳簿
銀行報表
作廢的銀行支票
財務報表淨值
財政支出和儲蓄計劃
家庭顧問
婚姻記錄（副本）
軍事記錄（副本）
保管箱關鍵/信息。
遺囑（副本）
信的最後指令健康的帳單和收據
目前的醫學史為每個家庭成員
健康身份證件
健康保險身份證
醫療保險
副本租賃或租賃協議
家庭裝修收據
業主或住宅保險
家庭和個人的財產（副本）
財產稅收據
白蟻檢查政策
投資目標規劃表
財務列表
儲蓄帳戶清單
存摺
房地產投資記錄
投資交易單據和每月報表
稅務記錄：購買收據，支付利息，慈善確認，醫療費用記錄。
按季估計稅收形式
回報，稅收的形式，附表和支持信息。
的W - 2表格，等等
賣車輛記錄
車輛保險單
記錄的交通違章
車輛維修收據
保證解釋保修或保證
保證收益
********************
活用的文件
********************

個人簡歷
財務會計賬簿
財務支票

財務清單的目標
財務報表淨值
財政支出和節省計劃
家庭顧問
寵物註冊
車輛維修收據
保修和維修教學
*****************

放入錢包：
*****************
實際信用卡
組織會員卡
社會保障卡
車輛牌照
車輛登記卡
**************************





Keep in Safe Deposit Box: 請放置於銀行保管箱
List of Credit Cards, Numbers, Names and Address.
Social Security Card
Adoption Papers
Birth Certificate
Burial Lot Deed
Church Records
Citizenship Papers
Divorce Decree or Separation Papers
Military Records
Will
Insurance Coverage
Abstract of Real Estate
Deeds and Mortgages
Household and Personal property
Title Insurance Policy
Corporate Bonds and Securities
Government Bonds and Securities
List of Assets
List of Savings Account
Real Estte Investment Record
Life Insurance Actual Policy
Vehicles Title
*************************
PUT INTO PERMANENT FILE
List of Credit Cards, Numbers, Names and Address, Telphone #
Loan Agreements of Contracts
Employee handbook
Employee Contract
Employment Record
Fringe Benefits
List of Education Degrees, Diplomas, etc.
Pension and Retirement Records
Record of Publications
Financial Bank account books
Bank Statements
Bank Cancelled checks
Financial Net Worth Statement
Financial Spending and Saving Plan
Family Advisors
Marriage Records(Copy)
Military Record (copy)
Safe Deposit Box key/Info.
Will (copy)
Letter of Last Instruction Health Bills and Receipts
Current Medical History for Each family member
health Identification cards
Health Insurance Identification Cards
Health Insurance Coverage
copy of Lease or Rental Agreement
Home Improvement Receipts
Homeowner's or Renter's Insurance
Household and personal Property (copy)
Property Tax Receipts
Termite Inspection Policy
Investment goal Planning Sheets
List of Assests
List of Savings Accounts
Passbooks
Real Estte Investment Records
Investments Transaction Slips and Monthly Statements
Tax Records : Purchase Receipts, Interest Payments, Charitable confirmation , Medical Espense Records.
Quarterly Estimated Tax forms
Returns, Tax forms, Schedules and Support Information.
W-2 Forms, etc.
Vehicles bill of sale
Vehicles Insurance Policies
Vehicles Insurance Policies
Record of Traffic Violations
Vehicles repair receipts
Warranties explanation of Warranty or Guarantee
Warranties receipts
********************
Active File


Personal Resume
Financial Account books
Financial checkbooks

Financial List of Goals
Financial Net Worth statement
Financial spending and Saving Plan
Family Advisors
Pet Registrations
Vehicles Repair Receipts
Warranties repairs and maintenance Instruction
*****************

Put in Wallet:
Actual Credit Cards
Organization Membership card
Social Security Card (??)
Vehicles License
Vehicles Registration card

***************************

Table of Contents

Organize Your Important Papers
Family Records
Property Records
Financial Records
Legal Records
Records to Keep at Home
Family Records
Property Records
Financial Records
Legal Records
Papers to Carry with You
*************************************************
Organize Your Important Papers
It is wise to periodically review your important papers. Take a fresh look at the types of records and papers you should be keeping at the beginning of each new stage or change in your life. The household might be considered a mini-business since many of the functions of planning, purchasing, and record keeping are the same as they are for any other type of business — large or small.

Importance of Records

You will find that financial records have become a vital part of your life. They are a key to your credit standing, are essential to help you save money on taxes, and also are a continuing indication of your financial progress. If you have systematic plan for keeping track of important papers you can save hours of anxious searching; help preserve peace and harmony; and make it easier to cope with emergency situations.

Record-keeping is also important due to legal and safety factors. Many records and papers can be kept in a home file for ready access, while others should be left with your attorney, placed in a safe-deposit box, or put in a fireproof, waterproof, and burglar-proof home safe. A good rule to follow is to keep the item at home unless it is a legal document or is difficult to replace or duplicate. Then it should be kept in a safe-deposit box or possibly left with your attorney. Following Hurricane Katrina in 2005, many people have explored the idea of sending copies of very important documents to a trusted relative in another state, and also having copies in a fireproof or waterproof file that could be lifted at a moment's notice.

Filing and Storing Important Papers

Plan and evaluate which papers should be stored, where they should be stored,and which should be discarded. Make the decision and file each paper accordingly. Do not just stack papers and plan to return to them later. This is the way things become lost and cause you to waste valuable time in searching for or replacing them.

A home filing system with a space provided for the important things is the key to managing your important family papers. For items kept at home it is not necessary to have fancy filing cabinets or special “offices.” A “business corner” can be set up in any room in the house. A cardboard drawer or metal box can serve adequately for storage of bills and family papers. Filing systems must be planned to meet your needs. You may not need detailed files at the present time. But remember, every type of important paper should be assigned a certain space, kept there until needed, and discarded if no longer useful.

The following guide to record-keeping will help you work out a personalized and efficient system for preserving and safeguarding important family papers. It will also provide a handy reference for deciding what items to keep, why you need to keep them, where they should be kept, and how long to keep them.

You will note that duplicate copies of many family papers should be kept at home for immediate reference. Important reasons for storing some family papers at certain locations are explained beside each category. However, you must make the final decision about where you will store your documents.

Permanent and Semi-Permanent Records

Keep in a safe deposit box or a fireproof, waterproof, burglar-proof home safe—with a list of the contents of the box in your home file.

*****************************************************************

Men & Women

年輕時


年老時

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN ?
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HIS terectomy .


Sophia sent this e-mail to me.

自動配樂電腦程式

我的小孩都學鋼琴，和教會管風琴，還有黑管，和豎笛等等樂器。
我們對電腦音樂也有相當程度的喜愛。
能有這樣的配樂程式應該很不錯。
只是這程式有沒有放置到youtube的片子，借人試聽試聽。



華裔研發之二
電腦量身打造伴奏樂章
南加大教授周瑜年與學生傳清華合作 寫出自動配樂程式





鋼琴家、南加大教授周瑜年（左 ）與其博士研究生傳清華發明能抓住個人特色的自動配樂程式。
（照片由傳清華提供）
��
記者馬雲
洛杉磯報導

南加州大學(USC)工程系華裔女教授周瑜年（Elaine Chew）和她指導的台灣博士生傳清華（Ching-Hua Chuan）研發的新電腦程式，可為不同樂隊風格量身打造伴奏樂章，即使對配樂一竅不通的音樂發燒友，也可一嘗創作樂趣，創作出複雜豐富的旋律。

傳清華畢業於台灣大學，曾是搖滾樂隊吉他手，與指導教授兼鋼琴家周瑜年兩年前合作，研發結合電腦學習與音樂理論的ASSA自動配樂程式。

傳清華表示，音樂人經常用吉他創作旋律，但對沒有接受正式音樂訓練的人來說，編寫準確的伴奏樂章卻相當困難。他們發明的這種配樂程式正好可以解決這個問題，適合於作曲初學者。

她們挑選一些搖滾大碟給ASSA程式受訓，讓程式為某些歌曲創作伴奏，其中包括她最喜歡的樂隊Radiohead和Green Day的歌曲，然後再比較歌曲實際上採用的伴奏。初期測試結果，程式創作的伴奏準確度達八成。

傳清華說，以前大部分的配樂軟件主要試圖為一個旋律配上隨機、廣泛的音樂和絃，只注重樂譜上契合，卻忽略整體風格。但她們發明的ASSA程式則試圖讓軟件捕捉到創作者的音樂類型，比如音樂人創作的歌曲是搖滾樂，程式就會試圖按照搖滾樂的風格去配樂。要完成這點，需要先為程式擬定各種音樂類型模式。傳清華解釋﹕「ASSA程式的作用為，首先根據存儲記憶功能去識別創作者提供的音樂類型，然後再通過黎曼主義理論的觀點（Neo-Riemannian music theory）分析曲調，按照所需要的特定類型音樂模式去配和弦，這樣創作出的音樂比較具有個人特色。」

這項成果是傳清華的畢業論文題目，並已在美國、英國的國際音樂展上展示，也被「Live Science」等美國各大科技、工程媒體發表。傳清華已從南加大畢業，目前在邁阿密Barry University從事音樂工程研究。

如何【說話】

知識是財富 ～ 口才是資本
表達力＝競爭力！如何把【話說好】！【說好話】！【好話說】！
如何【說話】說的人家想聽；【聽話】聽得人家想說！是人人必須具備的基本溝通能力，沒有好的表達力，有再好的能力，都會失去【能見度】，沒有能見度，就沒有機會！所以千萬別讓你的小孩輸在【表達力】！如果能從小培養表達力，養成習慣，不僅能改變個性，更能決定一個人的命運，因為有：好口才→好人才→好將來！

先修先【贏】！別讓你的小孩【輸】在起跑點！
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你看這種廣告不聳然心驚嗎?
能不趕緊把小孩送到那裡，趕快學習如何才有好口才?

Meeting

全球網路計畫 GNI

Google等公布言論自由準則



Google與書商間的版權訴訟在28日達成和解，圖為該公司在德國法蘭克福書展時推出的谷歌書籍搜索展示台。【美聯社】
【編譯中心綜合28日電】長久以來遭人權團體詬病的Google、微軟和雅虎與人權團體等組成的聯盟，28日公布行為守則，限制與各國政府共用資料和何時共用資料，以維護網上言論自由，避免遭到中國、非洲和中東等地獨裁政權壓制。
由企業、人權組織、投資者和學者共同擬定的「全球網路計畫」 (Global Network Initiative，簡稱GNI)，要求科技公司「保護用戶的言論自由和隱私權」，對政府提出資料或查禁的要求予以狹窄解釋，把合作減至最低。各公司也應尋求當局提出書面要求，明列批准官員的姓名和職稱。

參與該計畫的公司並同意，在海外國家經營和提供服務時，事前先考慮人權問題。公司應訓練員工並研擬機制以解決衝突，他們並承諾公開政府施壓，企圖要他們違反網上隱私或取得資料的全球標準。

GNI創設人士認為，對網路自由和隱私的攻擊在全世界不斷增加，而GNI是科技公司結盟反擊政府提出不合理要求的回應。他們指出，雖然中國也許是監視網路和進行查禁最高明的政權，但其手段正在擴散，其他國家也採取類似措施。

雅虎創辦人兼執行長楊致遠對新的行為守則表示歡迎。他說，「這些原則對在言論自由和隱私遭不公平限制的市場經營的雅虎之類公司，提供很有價值的路線圖。」

但是總部設在法國的「無國界記者」 (Reporters Without Borders)組織認為，GNI只是第一步，而且對保護獨裁國家的網路自由做得不夠，「根據這些原則，師濤事件仍可能再發生。」雅虎提供資料協助中國當局指認師濤的網路文章，導致這名中國記者身繫囹圄。

Fashion -Oscar, Vogue

http://fashionindie.com/its-just-about-that-time/

http://www.vogue.co.uk/celebrity-photos/gallery.aspx/id,56?Page=1

Good Daughters - Patricia Beard

年老的父母站著從窗口望下要搭計程車遠去的孩子的背影



對於我們的母親我們該怎麼辦

數以百萬計的成年女兒彼此互相問一個問題當他們的母親年齡漸老，有跡象顯示退化老去，對抗疾病和孤獨，有時活得花光他們的儲蓄。中年婦女活在照顧他們的母親和兒童的責任夾縫中，工作，和照顧其他家庭成員，她們感到內疚，憤怒，焦慮，她們掙扎的要做好女兒。



是作家及女兒的帕翠西亞比爾德的結論是， “我們不只是捫心自問，我們的母親應在哪裡生活，還是應該有一個膝關節置換手術。我認為，我們想知道我們能為我們的母親做些什麼。我們怎樣才能使我們與我們的母親和平相處，而不是渴望我們的母親依照我們所希望的那種樣子？對老化的母親而言什麼才是一個很好的女兒呢？為什麼如此艱難？我們如何才能做得更好？我們怎樣才能為將來當我們將永不再能夠撥打電話，聽到我們的母親的聲音作好心理準備？ “

[好女兒]探討變化中的文化，把更大的壓力加到中年婦女身上，先天推拉的母女關係，無論在任何年齡都建立了緊張局勢，但現實是在我們的舊社會，和他們的母親老化的制定要做好女兒的新角色。在從數百個採訪的婦女收集到的故事裡面，內有與她們的母親關係近乎完美或到惡裂關係的故事，[好女兒]是頭腦清醒和心情開放的母女要面對的實際的情緒問題。

用抒情的聲音來寫，加上幽默，理解和同情這兩代人，這本書既明智的也是令人鼓舞的。[好女兒]說明即使在母親的老化的困難中，最後階段仍可以提供機會，以豐富母女的關係，使母女可能會喪失勇氣及同情心的時候仍能面對環境的變化。

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1 。這本書對[好女兒]下了定義。好女兒是負責任的，能好相處的和有愛心的。如何在現實生活中發揮出在故事中的好女兒？

2 。什麼會特別干擾婦女作好女兒的能力？你知道的婦女之間有這種干擾嗎？

3.[好女兒]報告說，老化的母親想獨立。在書中女兒如何尊重母親這一願望？

4 。什麼信號，是告訴女兒這是適當的干預？有一些在書中的女兒做了步驟太快？有一些等待時間太長？

5 。多少婦女希望自己的母親繼續當母親的角色，即使他們母親的健康和能力正在下降？我們期待什麼而不自知？

6 。在書中有多少女兒出現哪些普通常見的刺激嗎？有在你的朋友中發生嗎？它是否有助於知道，當別人也有類似的經驗？

7 。什麼時候為時已晚去“修理”長期以來的不滿？當你的母親不再參與你們的關係了，你能怎麼辦？

8 。有些女兒最好是把和他們的母親彼此之間的距離拉大些？有些女兒有真正難以相處的母親，她們如何保存其平衡而沒有完全放棄她們的母親？

9 。書中有提供哪些辦法如何減少作遠距女兒產生的影響，這樣母親才不會感到孤立，女兒也能夠評估他們母親的狀況和需求？你有聽說過什麼辦法可以與他人分享？

10 老年的母親想從她們的女兒得到什麼？女兒能提供多少她們真正想要的和需要的？

11 如果你有一個特別困難伺候的媽媽，當你有很多責任需要您的注意，你要在責任和自我保護間哪裡劃清界線？

12 如何才能使共處一屋的母女共享家務，彼此尊重和平共處 ？

13 在書中的女兒似乎並沒有“最後一項事情”是她們想告訴她們的母親用來加強母女之間的關係。是實際嗎？

14 。你從[好女兒]，及你從自己和別人的經驗，有學到什麼經驗教訓，它將改變你對待你的母親的方式？你有學到什麼東西嗎？這將有助於你提前計劃當你老了而您的女兒是處在您的立場時，你將作一個“好媽媽”。
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“帕特里夏比爾德以她的書[好女兒]：愛我們的母親隨著年齡...提供了有價值的服務給所有人.我們確實面臨著人口革命。在本世紀預期壽命已大大增加。壽命的增加是一個勝利，而不是一個問題。問題是，我們還沒有想出對策應付增壽，我們一直也沒有改變我們對於老化，工作，退休，和關係的思維方式。孩子和父母家長的關係比以往任何時候都持久。部分的這種關係是給予照顧。母親和女兒共處時，添加到這個懸而未決的問題，這些增壽可說是喜憂參半。比爾德女士的書是迷人的，內容翔實。這是每個人-不只是女性的一種寶貴的資源。這是一本我將會給很多朋友強烈推薦的書之一。 “
-賀拉斯灣執行主任美國退休人員協會


“觸及純金的靜脈...確定了一系列的問題，我們聽到的大部分是通過遙遠的抱怨...沒有任何東西像這本現已上市的書。 ”
，哈利穆迪博士，執行董事，

8888888888888888888888888888888888





reading group guides


"What shall we do about our mothers?"

Millions of adult daughters ask one another this question as their mothers age, show signs of wearing down, fight illnesses and loneliness, and sometimes outlive their savings. Caught between caring for their mothers and responsibilities to children, jobs, and other family members, women in midlife are affected by guilt, anger, and anxiety as they struggle to be good daughters.

Journalist-and daughter-Patricia Beard concludes, "We are not just asking ourselves where our mothers should live, or whether they should have a knee replacement. I think we want to know what we can do about the way we feel about our mothers. How can we make our peace with the mothers we have, instead of longing for the mothers we wish we had? What does it mean to be a good daughter to an aging mother now? Why is it so hard? How can we do better? And how can we prepare ourselves for a future when we will never again be able to dial our mothers on the phone and hear their voices?"

Good Daughters explores the changes in the culture that put added pressure on women in midlife, the innate push and pull of the mother-daughter relationship that sets up tension at any age, the reality of being old in our society, and the new role daughters formulate as their mothers grow older. In stories gathered from hundreds of interviews with women whose relationships with their mothers range from nearly perfect to troubled, Good Daughters is clearheaded and openhearted about the practical and emotional problems mothers and daughters face.

Written in a lyrical voice, with humor, understanding, and empathy for both generations, this book is both sensible and inspirational. Good Daughters shows how even when a mother's aging is difficult, the last phase can provide opportunities to enrich relationships, and that mothers and daughters can face change and loss with courage and compassion.



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1. The book defines a good daughter as responsible, companionable, and loving. How does that play out in the stories in Good Daughters? In real life?

2. What interfered with particular women's ability to be good daughters? How about among the women you know?

3.Good Daughters reports that aging mothers want to be independent. How did the daughters in the book respect that desire?

4. What are the signals that tell a daughter it is appropriate to interfere? Did some of the daughters in the book step in too soon? Did some wait too long?

5. How much mothering do women expect from their own mothers, even when their health and strength are declining? What do we expect without realizing it?

6. What common irritants cropped up among the daughters in the book? How about among your friends? Does it help to know that others have similar experiences?

7. When is it too late to "fix" long-standing grievances? What can you do when your mother can't participate in your relationship anymore?

8. Would some daughters be better off putting plenty of distance between themselves and their mothers? How have some daughters of truly difficult mothers preserved their equanimity without entirely abandoning their mothers?

9. What are some of the approaches the book offers to moderate the effects of long-distance daughtering so mothers won't feel as isolated, and daughters can assess their condition and needs? What approaches have you heard about that you can share with others?

10. What do elderly mothers want from their daughters? How much of what they want and need can their daughters provide?

11. Where do you draw the line betweeen duty and self-preservation when you have many responsibilities competing for your attention; or if you have a particularly difficult mother?

12. How can mothers and daughters who live together share a household respectfully and companionably?

13. The daughters in the book didn't seem to have "one last thing" they wanted to say to their mothers to straighten out their relationship. Is that realistic?

14. What have you learned from Good Daughters, and from your own and others' experiences that will change the way you treat your mother? Have you learned anything that will help you plan ahead, so you will be a "good mother" when you are elderly and your daughter is in your position?

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" Patricia Beard has rendered a valuable service to all with her book Good Daughters: Loving Our Mothers As They Age....We do face a demographic revolution. Life expectancy has increased dramatically in this century. The increased longevity is a triumph, not a problem. The problem is that we have not figured out the implications of the added years we have, nor have we changed our way of thinking about aging, work, retirement, and relationships. The relationships of children and parents are lasting longer than ever. Part of this relationship is caregiving. Add to this the unresolved issues that mothers and daughters have with each other, these added years can be a mixed blessing. Ms. Beard's book is fascinating and informative. It is a valuable resource for everyone -- not just women. It is a book that I highly recommend and one that I will be giving to many friends. "
—Horace B. Deets, Executive Director of the American Assocation of Retired Persons


"Touches a vein of pure gold...identifies a set of issues that we hear about mostly through distant rumblings...There is nothing like this book available now. "
—Harry Moody, Ph.D., executive director,
http://www.readinggroupguides.com/guides_G/good_daughters1.asp

Tea 茶葉

http://blog.sina.com.tw/a2303559/category.php?pbgid=15120&categoryid=23250
我每天泡茶三次 也經常發現茶葉有優劣之分 但是今天無意中看到這網頁把制茶葉經過詳細圖文並茂的解說
就把他放上來與大家分享