多數人一生中會面對一場嚴重的精神健康危機，
那就是戀愛。
我們知道戀愛令人瘋狂，無法自制。
臺灣人俗諺:"愛到，慘過死!"
說的就是教父母閃一邊去!好壞都是他的命。
一旦落入戀愛的漩渦，
情人眼中出西施，麻子也當仙女了!
年輕人戀愛常是六親不認，
父母如果以為"門不當，戶不對"極力反對，
往往就會斷了親情。
逼急了年輕人雙雙殉情。
上演一齣全新版"羅密歐與茱麗葉"，
令父母搥胸頓足悔不當初!
即使父母如果不反對。也沒保證戀愛會成功!
如有一方厭倦變心而分手，
拒人那方可能正喜於找到"更好的一半"。
更可能"但見新人笑，那聞舊人哭"。
不管被拒那方痛不欲生!
失戀常使一些年輕人一哭二鬧三上吊的。
甚至默默自殘經神失常。
或失望加嫉妒而去殺害對方，
驚動父母親友與社會。
或者選擇自殺!
使父母在兒女身上的所有希望與投資化為烏有。
愛情瓦解對一個人的健康會造成巨大代價。
但拿生命做愛情的代價未免太傻瓜!
天涯何處無芳草?
你不要我，是你不識貨!
十八姑娘一朵花，一家有女百家求吶。
男的也可以想成對方始亂終棄不忠誠，
舊的不去，新的不來。下一個搞不好更讚哩!
你娘可能還要說:"有金兒子還怕沒狗屎媳婦呀!"
有甚麼好尋死覓活?
你死只是你父母折損兒女。
人家還樂得不必看你礙眼!
因此要重新站起來， 活比對方更快樂才是聰明人。
漸多研究發現，
愛情和維持長久的關係對我們健康有很大影響。
大約就是看到太多人為情疵迷，生活無法持繼吧!
奇怪的是男人是:
越容易追上手的女人，越不珍惜。
越追不到的女友，越要努力以赴的追!
因此女孩戀愛時。
您不妨架子擺足，給男人多方考驗吧!
可能你會看到婚後丈夫等太太十分鐘就勃然大怒。
但是男子疵等幾小時才見女友出現到來卻心花怒放。
不但不敢怒氣沖沖還要關心出了甚麼事或不捨得女友塞車呢!
女孩戀愛時要盡可能的要求被呵護。
太獨立了!男方沒有獻殷勤的表現機會。
而且婚前都不僯花惜草婚後更別夢想對妳羅曼蒂克啦。
經濟好壞一回事， 真心實情應該可以看出一二。
發現不是妳要的那型對象。
感緊收兵不要浪費彼此時間精力。
省的藕斷絲連理不清楚!
見到好的要趕快訂婚結婚。
省的夜長夢多。 連煮熟鴨子都飛掉!
戀愛是讓對方暈眩到願意答應和你結婚的一種過程。
要如何永浴愛河是一項難題呢。
愛情來無影去無蹤。
它是會隨風消逝的!
沒有好好經營補充。也會變質。
讓我們了解如何改善與伴侶的關係和重燃愛情火花。
大約才是每人必須好好研究並重修的人生課題!
.............................................
幾年前有人很喜歡這首歌，1970'老情歌還跟的上時代嗎？
大腦掃描新發現 戀愛 仿似精神病
【本報訊】華爾街日報13日報導，多數人一生中會面對一場嚴重的精神健康危機，那就是戀愛。科學開始注意戀愛在大腦引發的化學風暴，最近的大腦掃描調查顯示，戀愛在大腦造成的改變，驚人的類似嚴重健康問題，如毒癮和無法自制的強迫症。
這並不意味戀愛對人不好。漸多研究發現，愛情和維持長久的關係對長期健康有很大影響。婚姻或愛情瓦解對一個人的健康會造成巨大代價。但是知道戀愛令人瘋狂，讓我們了解如何改善與伴侶的關係和重燃愛情火花。
新澤西州羅格斯大學人類學家海倫‧費雪使用磁核共振顯像機觀察大腦來研究戀愛。最近的研究審視墜入情網卻遭拋棄的15人，請他們先看他們認識但無愛戀感覺的人的照片，接著再看情人的照片。
大腦影像顯示多巴胺(dopamine)系統在運作，意味這些人對情人念念不忘。但是大腦與冒險、控制憤怒、強迫問題、甚至身體痛苦有關的區域也有活動。
使用大腦掃描來研究情緒變化仍是新科學。但是這些影像顯示戀愛關係惡化可能帶來的影響，費雪指出：「你有強烈的戀愛感覺，願意冒險，身體痛苦，強迫性的想著一個人，難以控制你的憤怒。你所有的認知能力並未充分運作，可能部分理智關閉。」
研究發現，與配偶共同嘗試新活動對重振愛情很有用。一項調查讓夫婦每周共同進行一次兩人都認為新鮮的活動，如乘船出海或上藝術課。另一組則進行愉快但熟悉的活動，如與朋友共進晚餐。嘗試新活動的夫婦十周後婚姻品質改善勝過進行相同活動的夫婦。也就是說，共享新經驗似乎在大腦引起類似初墜情海的變化。
2007-02-14
http://www.worldjournal.com/wj-us-news.php?nt_seq_id=1488153
From NYTimes: researchers in New York and New Jersey argue that romantic love is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal...
May 31, 2005
Watching New Love as It Sears the Brain
By BENEDICT CAREY
New love can look for all the world like mental illness, a blend of mania, dementia and obsession that cuts people off from friends and family and prompts out-of-character behavior - compulsive phone calling, serenades, yelling from rooftops - that could almost be mistaken for psychosis.
Now for the first time, neuroscientists have produced brain scan images of
this fevered activity, before it settles into the wine and roses phase of romance or the joint holiday card routines of long-term commitment.
In an analysis of the images appearing today in The Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers in New York and New Jersey argue that romantic love is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal.
It is closer in its neural profile to drives like hunger, thirst or drug craving, the researchers assert, than to emotional states like excitement or affection. As a relationship deepens, the brain scans suggest, the neural activity associated with romantic love alters slightly, and in some cases primes areas deep in the primitive
brain that are involved in long-term attachment.
The research helps explain why love produces such disparate emotions, from euphoria to anger to anxiety, and why it seems to become even more intense when
it is withdrawn. In a separate, continuing experiment, the researchers are analyzing brain images from people who have been rejected by their lovers.
"When you're in the throes of this romantic love it's overwhelming, you're out of control, you're irrational, you're going to the gym at 6a.m. every day - why? Because she's there," said Dr. Helen Fisher, ananthropologist at Rutgers University and the co-author of the analysis." And when rejected, some people contemplate stalking, homicide, suicide. This drive for romantic love can be stronger than the
will to live."
Brain imaging technology cannot read people's minds, expertscaution, and a phenomenon as many sided and socially influenced as love transcends simple computer graphics, like those produced by the technique used in the study, called functional M.R.I.
Still, said Dr. Hans Breiter, director of the Motivation and Emotion Neuroscience Collaboration at Massachusetts General Hospital, "Idistrust about 95 percent of the M.R.I. literature and I would give this study an 'A'; it really moves the ball in terms of understanding infatuation love."
He added: "The findings fit nicely with a large, growing body of literature describing a generalized reward and aversion system in the brain, and put this intellectual construct of love directly onto thesame axis as homeostatic rewards
such as food, warmth, craving fordrugs."
In the study, Dr.Fisher, Dr. Lucy Brown of Albert Einstein Collegeof Medicine in the Bronx and Dr. Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, led a team that analyzed about 2,500 brain images from 17 college students who were in the first weeks or months of new love. The students looked at a picture of their beloved while an M.R.I. machine scanned their brains. The researchers then compared the images with others taken while the students looked at picture of an acquaintance.
Functional M.R.I. technology detects increases or decreases of bloodflow in the brain, which reflect changes in neural activity.
In the study, a computer-generated map of particularly active areas showed hot spots deep in the brain, below conscious awareness, in areas called the caudate nucleus and the ventral tegmental area, which communicate with each other as part of a circuit.
These areas are dense with cells that produce or receive a brainchemical
called dopamine, which circulates actively when people desireor anticipate a reward. In studies of gamblers, cocaine users and evenpeople playing computer games for small amounts of money, these dopamine sites become extremely active as people score or win, neuroscientists say.
Yet falling in love is among the most irrational of human behaviors, not merely a matter of satisfying a simple pleasure, or winning areward. And the researchers found that one particular spot in the M.R.I. images, in the caudate nucleus, was
especially active in people who scored highly on a questionnaire measuring passionate love.
This passion-related region was on the opposite side of the brainfrom another area that registers physical attractiveness, theresearchers found, and appeared to be involved in longing, desire andthe unexplainable tug that people feel toward one person, among manyattractive alternative partners.
This distinction, between finding someone attractive and desiring him or her,
between liking and wanting, "is all happening in an area of the mammalian brain that takes care of most basic functions, like eating, drinking, eye movements, all at an unconscious level, and I don't think anyone expected this part of the brain to be sospecialized," Dr. Brown said.
The intoxication of new love mellows with time, of course, and the brain scan findings reflect some evidence of this change, Dr. Fisher said.
In an earlier functional M.R.I. study of romance, published in 2000,researchers at University College London monitored brain activity in young men and women who had been in relationships for about two years.The brain images, also taken while
participants looked at photos of their beloved, showed activation in many of the same areas found in the new study - but significantly less so, in the region correlated with passionate love, she said.
In the new study, the researchers also saw individual differences in their group of smitten lovers, based on how long the participants had been in the relationships. Compared with the students who were in the first weeks of a new love, those who had been paired off for a year or more showed significantly more activity in an area of the brain linked to long-term commitment.
Last summer, scientists at Emory University in Atlanta reported that injecting a ratlike animal called a vole with a single gene turned promiscuous males into stay-at-home dads - by activating precisely the same area of the brain where researchers in the new study found increased activity over time.
"This is very suggestive of attachment processes taking place," Dr.Brown said.
"You can almost imagine a time where instead of going to Match.com you could have a test to find out whether you're an attachment type or not."
One reason new love is so heart-stopping is the possibility, the ever-present fear, that the feeling may not be entirely requited, that the dream could suddenly end.
In a follow-up experiment,Dr. Fisher, Dr. Aron and Dr. Brown have carried out brain scans on 17 other young men and women who recently were dumped by their lovers. As in the new love study, the researchers compared two sets of images, one
taken when the participants were looking at a photo of a friend, the other when looking at a picture of their ex.
Although they are still sorting through the images, the investigators have noticed one preliminary finding: increased activation in an area of the brain related to the region associated with passionate love. "It seems to suggest what the psychological literature, poetry and people have long noticed: that being dumped actually does heighten romantic love, a phenomenon I call frustration-attraction," Dr. Fisher said in an e-mail message.
One volunteer in the study was Suzanna Katz, 22, of New York, who suffered through a breakup with her boyfriend three years ago. Ms. Katzsaid she became hyperactive to distract herself after the split, but said she also had moments of almost physical withdrawal, as if weaning herself from a drug.
"It had little to do with him, but more with the fact that there was something there, inside myself, a hope, a knowledge that there's someone out there for you, and that you're capable of feeling this way,and suddenly I felt like that was
being lost," she said in an interview.
And no wonder. In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalizing a lover, absorbing elements of the other person's opinions, hobbies, expressions, character, as well as sharing one's own. "The expansion ofthe self happens very rapidly, it's
one of the most exhilarating experiences there is, and short of threatening our survival it is one thing that most motivates us," said Dr. Aron, of SUNY, a co-author ofthe study.
To lose all that, all at once, while still in love, plays havoc with the emotional,
cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain. But the heightened activity in these areas inevitably settles down. And the circuits in the brain related to passion remain intact, the researchers say - intact and capable in time of flaring to life with someone new.
